I thought I would take a moment to share my thoughts about Ri. This weekend, I was able to attend my bible study. We spend an hour watching a video in which theauthor of the study delves into the study deeper. It is an hour well worth watching. This Saturday, the speaker was sharing her experience with her son. They had adopted him when he was 4 1/2 years old. She remembered times when she would pick her child up from whereever he had been and the teacher or adult would share with her the "trouble" this child had caused. She would cry and share with them that they were going through the same things at home and she was trying her hardest to help him change. SHe just didn't know what to do. THey were getting him all the help he needed, yet it was frustating and painful. About 6 months went by and a teacher was frustrated with her son. She remembers her back stiffening up when she heard the teacher share, she took a step forward and got in the teachers face and said "give him a chance" (or something to that effect). She walked out shaking with anger and went home and shared it with her husband who responded like this: "It sounds to me that you have become Michaels mommy". I wanted to cry. I wanted to just sit there and praise God because I knew what this speaker was saying.

You see, Ri has become my son. From the deepest part of me, Ri is now my boy. It hadn't been that way before. When he acted out, I responded like a caregiver. When he hurt someone, I was hurting because I didn't know what to do anymore. I was worn out and giving up. But God opened my eyes to my son, to the gift He had chosen to give to me. And now.... if someone were to talk about my son in ways he is undeserving of... look out.... because Mama Bear is by his side. There is something that has clicked with us. SOmething that is deep, something undescribable. Ri is my son, just as much my son as Sam and Jacob. I have given birth to him in a different way. It took much longer and the pain was much more intense... and it may not have been a physical birth, but it is a birth.

I praise God for my son. And I think Ri knows it. Before, I think Ri only looked to me as someone who told him no and corrected him and held him when he got hurt. I wasn't anything else. But now, my son holds me like I am his mommy. He needs me and I believe he wants me. Today, I was holding a little girl in my lap. I ran into a friend and was sitting holding her little girl. Ri yelled "No". Then he came over and started pushing on me and whining for me to put the girl down. He was making it very clear that he did not want me loving on someone elses child. That was for him. I can not tell you how good that felt.