Jacob's spotlight

Sometimes it is nice when one child can have a little focus just on them. The past week has given Jacob a few moments of special attention. In the past, our kids have been nominated to attent People to People Leadership Forum's but we have never been in a situation to be able to consider it. This year is no different. But... Last week, Jacob recieved notification that he has been nominated to attend the People to People World Leadership Forum in Washington DC. It is an honor to be nominated. A child must be nominated by a teacher based on their academic achievements as well as their character.

The first notification simply tells the child that they are nominated and to look in the mail for more details. Bless Jacob's heart. He was so excited. Washington DC is a dream of his. I went several years ago with my job and he begged me to take pictures of everything. He coudn't wait to hear all about the trip and see the pictures. So the thought of traveling to DC was thrilling to him! He asked me how long I thought it would be until he got the letter that told him more. He went to the mailbox everyday waiting for it. When it came, he was ecstatic... until he read the cost. To attend the conference, it would be $2295.00 .. plus travel costs to get there and back. It was as if the wind was knocked out of him.

You see, Jacob has had the hardest adjustment since we have adopted Ri and Elizabeth. I really don't need to go into detail, for his sake, but it has been difficult sharing mom's time... actually ...rarely getting mom's attention anymore. He has been so loving and caring towards the kids. And.. he has matured so much. The 2 trips to China have really given him a strength far beyond what he would have had at this time had we not gone (guess I am taking God out of the equation - but I am confident that God used these 2 precious adoptions to mold Jacob into who he has become so far). I would have never dreamed of letting my 12 year old travel to DC without us, on his own..did I say on his own? It wasn't too long ago that Jacob would have been terrified to be without us for that long, let alone go somewhere that he knew NOONE all by himself! But there was something about his intense love of history, love of DC, and his excitement of that letter that hit my heart hard. Mark and I talked about it and were open to the idea. We just had to wait and see what it would cost.

Yep - you guessed it, the cost put a stop to our ideas. But, Jacob and I started talking about it. He was willing to work hard and earn the money... but he was so overwhelmed at the large amount that he began to lose hope. We began to pray about it and started really searching for ideas of how he could earn the money. We checked into scholarships and fundraising and opportunities for work. Our conclusion... it is a leap of faith! At this moment in time, he has been approved to run a concession stand during the YMCA soccer season. The YMCA is going to sell lolipops and candy bars at their front desk for him, a very dear friend of ours has agreed to put lollipops and candy bars at their pizza counter for him to sell. His Mamaw hired him to help them move on Saturday and paid him (much too much, but she's a precious, generous Mamaw who loves her babies!) And the teacher who nominated him shared that she would hire him for manual labor over the summer. Jacob has begun to feel like God just may help him raise the money he needs... one penny at a time! It is so exciting to watch him plan and think about what he could do. As soon as he is officially accepted into the Forum, he will send out sponsorship letters to Kiwanis, Lyons, and Jaycees as well as other businesses and possibly friends and family. I am so proud of him for his desire to raise the money himself.

So, as we watched the doors begin to open, Jacob sent his application in. It was a big step of faith for him. This morning, he practiced his "speech" he was going to deliver to a teacher for a letter of recommendation. That is a huge step for Jacob. Looking people in the eye and saying the right words is definitely out of his comfort zone.

All that to say, Jacob .. we are excited for you. I am excited to watch God work in your life as you prepare to be the leader God wants you to be.

Jacob will tentatively be spending Sept 28 - Oct 5 in DC. He has 8 months to raise his money. If you have any jobs that you would entrust a 12 year old boy to do... maybe you could keep him in mind. If you have any great fund raising ideas, he would welcome that as well.

I was sitting down checking my email when I heard Elizabeth reading to Ri. I looked and there he was, sitting on her lap. Her little arms were around him with the book in front of them both and she was reading it! What a beautiful sight. By the time I got the camera, this is what I ended up watching. Enjoy. The book she is reading is Veggie Tales. If you are familiar with Veggie Tales, you will understand Elizabeth much better. She is telling Ri who everyone is. Too cute.

Finger painting is something most preschoolers love doing, and mine our no exception. Boy did they love everything about it. They helped me make it. You see, I am trying to put together a book or some type of thing for craft recipes like playdoh, bubbles, fingerpaint...etc. I'm also trying to get organized and begin really teaching our little ones. I use to work with the others all the time, but I have slacked off WAY TOO MUCH and am finally getting my life on track. I am actually trying hard to incorporate many things into their life that keep me AT HOME and a LOT more organized.

Here is the recipe I used for the fun fingerpaint. Warning... do not use paper to paint on! The best things is wax paper or styrofoam plates (a must for preschool art).

Recipe: one cup cold water
1/4 cup salt
2 tablepsoons cornstarch

In a saucepan mix all ingredients. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly, and keep boiling/stirring until as thick as pudding. Pour into separate containers and add various colors food coloring. Let cool, then paint with your fingers. It does not work well with a brush, but applies exceptionally smooth with fingers, and dries to a silky smooth finish. This lasts about two weeks in the refrigerator.

I used powdered tempera paints for 2 batchs and food coloring for the other two. Both work well, but the food coloring blends easier.

Clean up: We used shaving cream. It is a trick I have recently learned. I poured spray paint onto the counter and they had a ball playing in it. We wrote the letter A and then spread it everywhere. Then we used our fingers and tried drawing the letter. The shaving cream really cleaned up the "paint" that had seemed to soak into my white countertops.

I've been thinking so much about the changes that have occured in our lives these past few years. I truly am thankful to God that He has given us the privlidge of raising 2 more children. It is funny how having children changes your life. ... each one... not just having children.. but I have found that each of my kids has been used by God to mold me. Sometimes the molding that God is doing in my life seems to be with a hammer and chisel and with full strength; other times, it seems to be a subtle, soft, pliable type of molding.

I remember thinking that Elizabeth was really going to be a tough adjustment on me. I thought it would be so hard to adjust to having a little one around again. But, as GOd often does in my life, it was not. What I thought would be hard, became easy and thrilling. Then I thought that Ri was going to be an easy adjustment. I remember saying... what's one more? I thought to myself that I was able to handle 4 kids 5 years and 1 day apart. How easy it was going to be to have a 2nd toddler. Goodness.. I thought he was going to make things even easier because Elizabeth would have a playmate. Funny... funny how God works... funny how God just never seems to work the same way twice or the way I think He is going to.

Ri has definitely been the hardest adjustment for me. But, as I mentioned earlier, GOd uses the kids to change me. There is so much about myself that my little guy has shown me. Much of which I believe has always been a part of me,... only hidden. God has allowed this time of struggle to show me a part of me that has needed changed.

I realized that I haven't bonded with my precious son. I think much of his behavior is specifically related to me. I think he knows it and fights hard to bond with me. So... I have been spending more time focusing on the one thing I should have been focusing on 7 months ago! He is so precious, so loving, so sweet... yet, I have allowed the pressures of my life to invade on his and my bonding. It breaks my heart. I guess I fooled myself for some time, thinking and believing that Ri and I had bonded...but all the time, knowing in my heart, that I hadn't. But now that I am finally walking with God again, He has been faithful to show me my weaknesses and is gentling beginning to heal that part of our relationship. I can't wait until the day that I "know" Ri and I are bonded. I know it will happen!

As for the other kids, there is so much I need to be doing to continue my bond with them too. Life seems to fly by and I jsut don't have the time I need to focus on each one. So, if you think of it, pray that God would be the one that my children bond with and that He will fill the gaps that Mark and I are not able to fill right now.

Happy Day for Elizabeth

Yesterday was Elizabeth's 3rd birthday. We didn't do anything extra special, somewhat like Ri's day. I learned a long time ago that I don't need to do all the "hullabuloo" I use to do. They really don't have any expectations of something huge, nor do they really comprehend the specialness of turning another year older. To them...it is their "happy day".... whatever that means! For Elizabeth, it meant getting to eat some m&m's at snack time when Ri was taking his nap. It meant having the Happy Day song sung to her over and over. It meant having a little "poppy - aka: pop" and having her own special cupcake with tons of icing. For her, it meant having some presents to open and giving some to Ri to open. We did plan a trip to magic mountain. The girls really, really wanted to go, so we waited most of the day so that they could join us. But when I called Magic MOuntain, I found out that the older kids were not allowed in the tunnels to play with their siblings. Mark and I could play, but not the older teenagers. That devastated them all. They really wanted to play with the toddlers and make it special for Elizabeth. So.. we boycotted Magic Mountain and went to McDonalds for Ri and Elizabeth to play in the tunnels. Only thing was, Elizabeth fell asleep on the way and it took us a good 20 minutes to wake her up enough for her to play a little.

For me? It meant thinking about her birthparents.... both of their birthparents. I can't help but feel the ache of their hearts. This time of year must bring heaviness to them and fill them with tons of questions. They must wonder where their child is and how they are doing. For Ri, they must wonder if he is still alive. I wish that ,s omehow, they could know that their children are loved and safe.

Well, for now, I need to attend to my 2 little ones.

A Special Message Just For Daddy

Happy Birthday to the man of my dreams. You complete me. I thank God for the gift of your life. You are priceless. I love you.

Today, we are praising God for a few answered prayers. First, both Elizabeth and Ri sat in the church service for the entire service. Mark and I were both actually able to listen to the Pastors Message. It was wonderful He is just beginning a "journey through Romans". After listening to Pastor's introduction, I am very excited to hear his entire "journey". He introduced it with an explanation of Paul and who he was before Christ grabbed ahold of him on the road to Damascus. If you would like to take this journey with us, you can click on http://www.faithbaptist-mv.org/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/AppLogic+FTContentServer?pagename=FaithHighway/10000/4000/103FA/audio the choose the sermon entitled: Launching the journey

A second answered prayer is that my mom is recovering wonderfully after having hip replacement surgery on Tuesday. The third is that Mark's Dad just got released from the hospital after having been admitted for a heart fibrillation and nose bleed. We are thankful he is ok and home. And of course, we are thankful that both Erin and Jacob's hearts are fine.

I have mentioned swimming a few times. At the last meet, I took a movie of Erin swimming backstroke. She truly does not like the sport at all, but is working hard on it. The race was hard for her because she was feeling poorly, but I think she did GREAT! She isn't placing first or even second in anything she swims, but she is working hard, getting great exercise, and getting a dose of humility. All sports have come very easy for her until now. Swimming is much harder then most people think. I am so proud of her and can NOT believe how great her times are for having never swam before in her life! It blows me away. Anyways, here is a movie of her swimming. She is in the middle lane. (5th lane from me)



Jacob has gotten a huge fascination out of Diet Coke and Mentos lately. This is his experiment. We were all very excited to see the results.

Erin is fine!

Just wanted everyone to know that Erin's heart is fine. Evidentally many people have a pulmonary regurgitation. The doctor indicated if he took 100 Ultrasounds, all 100 would show it. Funny... Jacob's never did. Anyways, she has nothing that we need to be concerned with. The blacking out and tingling feeling is probably just from a lack of oxygen. She just isn't getting enough air when she swims.

Thanks for caring. Jacob is good to go too.

Erin's echo results

Sometimes it just cracks me how God works. We adopt a little boy with severe heart problems when he was born, underwent open heart surgery and we were unsure of what to expect when we brought him home. Bracing ourselves for many health issues... we find out he is in excellent health and only need to be seen once a year to just follow his progress. But, our little girl whom seems so healthy is the one who actually is causing us the most visits to the doctor!

Erin's echo came back slightly abnormal. I don't think it is anything to be alarmed with, but we have to follow up with a cardiologist. God is so good, I had an appointment for Jacob already made with our pediatric cardiologist for this afternoon. I called the office yesterday when I found out the results. I explained about Jacob and they worked everything out so that Erin could be seen at the same time. I am so very thankful. With her intensity in swimming, I have been a little concerned. I think I probably shared yesterday, but she has been feeling numb and coming close to blacking out; especially on turns. It hasn't happened often, but far too many times for my comfort. She actually blacked out after a race a few meets ago. She is also incredibliy tired all of the time. I have attributed it to the intense swim practices, but had been a little concerned and was thinking of having a mono test ran on her. Today, hopefully, will answer many of my questions.

I very dear friend of mine sharead with me last night that she missed reading my blog. She said I do not post as frequently. She is right. My goal is to be much more diligent in the upcoming days.

So how is life in the Miller home since our precious little boy has come home? I think I can confidently say that I praise God for our home and our family. A few months ago, I wasn't praising God so much, in fact, I wasn't doing much with God altogether. I was do all I could do just to keep up with my life; unfortunately, by pushing God to the side, I was making my life much more miserable. But God is so faithful, despite my lack of faith. I am really enjoying spending time with Him again.

As a result, I can once again, joyfully report that I love having 6 precious children and am so blessed to have a marriage that is solid. Mark is my best friend. As God promises, He burns the dross off of us through the trials He allows in our life. I think the toughest test on our marriage has been bringing our son home.... but it has also made us stronger and given me a new love and respect for my husband - he DEFINITELY completes me. As I have struggled getting a grip on this new life, Mark has stepped in and been the stability for our family. He has held me and encouraged me through every deep water I have tread these past 7 months.

And what about my children? Awww.. they are priceless. Emily has stepped in and done most of the running around for me. Whenever I need anything while she is in town, she doesn't groan, moan, roll eyes, or even sigh. She simply, joyfully, and with the sweetest voice says: "No problem, mom". So many have sharead with me what a precious young lady she is. I must agree! She has her head on right, her focus is wonderful, and.... :(..... she is growing up right before my eyes. She shared with me the other day that if she had to live on her own, she thought she would be able to do it. I do believe she is right!

Erin is beginning to blossom. Her character is developing so much these past few months. I think the Lord really used her torn maniscus to help develop her into who He wants her to be. She is working hard on her responses and on her relationships inside our family. It has been so fun to watch her grow so much. Swimming has been a great bonding tool between her and I. I am very, very thankful for it. She is doing well, but really does not like the sport at all! It is funny how God works. He never works just as we think He is or will. We thought Ri was going to be our child with the biggest health issues. Well, this year, it has been Erin. On Tuesday, we had an echo of her heart taken. She has been experiencing some feelings of blacking out while she is swimming. We don't expect anything to show up, but we needed to be cautious considering the intensity of her workouts.

Sam is changing physically every day! It is so wild to watch. It is as if he is changing right before my eyes. I think the fact he is growing his hair out has made the biggest difference, but honestly... everyday he is looking more and more mature. He is a joy - full of humor and laughter. He is very sensitive to the stress around the house and often takes it as a personal challenge to try to make things better (he and Emily are both that way!). He is doing wonderful in school. THis year is a much better year then last year. Middle school is so difficult on the kids. For Emily - it was 6th grade. For Erin - 8th grade was a nightmere. Sam -7th grade. And for Jacob - 6th has been very difficult. I wish that you could just close your eyes and skip through the middle school age years. Kids can be so hurtful!

Jacob is tender and so sensitive to others not doing the right thing. He struggles with the cursing at school, the mean comments, and the overall behavior of the kids at school. He is very bright and truly has a mind that thinks far beyond many adults... but still is 11 years old. That becomes quite a conflict at times both internally for him and externally for those around. He is the most determined of all of our kids and the one most able to focus on a goal. He is working really hard at getting into shape. We are so proud of him. I can't wait to see him play soccer this season! Of all the kids, he is the one who likes me to be around the most (yeah! - at least one of the big kids does :) )

Ri - oh, my precious little boy! He is adorable, ornery, sweet, mean, calm, fiesty, handsome, bright, curious... oh, my is he a handful! I love this little guy so much. God has truly been revealing to me that my frustration with him has been my problem, not his. He is a WONDERFUL little guy. We are so blessed. He has been through so much in his small life. He was on a DEFINITE SET schedule for 2 1/2 years and then was thrown into our family (the extreme opposite of routine!). It isn't hard to understand why the little guy is all of the above. But boy o'boy is he fun to watch. He has changed so much. And now that the fog is being lifted from my mind, I can see how perfect he fits into our family.

Lastly, Elizabeth is as adorable as ever. SHe is full of sweetness, cuteness and mischieviousness. She can win you with her sweetness and turn around and be caught doing something very sneaky behind my back that isn't so sweet. She is talking up a storm and is very convinced that she is a big girl now that we have FINALLY thrown away all the bottles. She now proudly drinks out of a travel coffee mug in the morning... she is convinced it is her coffee (hot chocolate milk). She is very aware of who is a boy and who is a girl, often telling us all the people she knows and whether they are boys or girls. She cracks me up all the time with her comments to Ri. They are so much fun to watch.

As for me? I am finally off my digital scrapping kick. I needed it so badly just to survive those first 6 months... but now I am spending much more time with my little ones (which is what I should have been doing before). I am back in the word (yeah!) and enjoying every minute there. I am focusing on trying to get in shape and stronger. I have let that fall by the wayside and really have realized how weak I am physically. It will be a long uphill battle, so for now, I am just going to put my head down and plow each inch at a time.

When I took the video of Elizabeth singing Happy Birthday to Ri, I also took this one. I just wanted to remember her sweetness.

Please keep Erin and Emily in prayer. They have midterms Wed - Fri. Erin is overwhelmed beyond words. She had a swim meet Friday, Saturday, practice MOnday for 3 hours and then a swim meet tonight. The swim meet started an hour late (the kids had to be there anyways). She didn't get home until 8:00 to begin studying for 3 midterms tomorrow. It has been a very tough life lesson. My heart aches for her.

I do want to praise God for an answered prayer. My mom had her hip replaced today. SHe was a bit nervous and very anxious about being put under. She has ephezema and was very concerned about her breathing. But I am very happy to say that God answered many prayers that were lifted up on her behalf. She was at peace going into the surgery and the surgery went excellent. She is doing well tonight. Please continue to pray for her recovery.

Ri is a bit out of sorts right now with the kids having been home for 2 weeks. We are realizing that whenever his schedule is a bit crazy, he becomes very difficult in many different ways. We think his behavior is directly related to how crazy things are around here. So, we are trying to figure out ways to make things calmer and a bit more routine for the poor little guy. Just think ... for 2 1/2 years he was in one building, 3 rooms, very little stimulation and exact routine. Then... well... he became a Miller. Enough words said right there! Poor guy. It has to be so very, very difficult for him to process in his little mind. It is no wonder that the chaos of our life effects him.

It's my littlest man's birthday today - 3 years old

Isn't he just the cutest 3 year old you've ever seen? Ok - I'm biased. I have been thinking alot about all that this little guy has gone through in his short life. Three years ago, our son was born, on the other side of the world. I have no doubt that his birthparents, today, are grieving and wondering about their son. My heart aches for them. I wish that, somehow, we were able to let them know how wonderful he is. I am confident that he was loved very deeply by them, especially by his mother. Noone knows the circumstances behind why they chose to leave him at the gates of the hospital; only them and God. But I know it must have been the most painful day of his mother's life. So, three years ago, he was held by his birth mother... and then separated from her a few short days later. 2 years ago, he was recovering from open heart surgery and pneumonia - alone, without a mother or father to hold him through it all. 1 year ago, he was in an orphanage doing what he did everyday, with no knowledge of his turning 2 nor of his family who were on the other side of the world waiting to come bring him hom. Here is a picture of him 1 year ago:


The changes are amazing. Today, his birthday is different from his others. He has a family that loves him, has gifts for him, will sing to him, will play with him, and will try to make his day a little special for him. We praise God that we have the joy of raising this little boy. He is precious in every way. Happy Birthday my little man!