I am feeling mighty old (and a pit poorer) this morning.... Why? Because I now have 3 children who are driving! Sam just passed his permit test and actually drove the kids and I to school. Just another reason for the gray hairs I am seeing on my head.

Just when I think that my faith is doing ok, God seems to stretch me a little more. It is always difficult for me when my children are sick, but this season, with all the scares of the swine flu, my faith is being put to the test. The swine flu is here, in our little town... and in my little world of friends. Pray for a little boy who has it right now. He tends to get things very intensely and, unfortunately, his doctor did not put him on tamaflu because of the foreseeable "shortage" of it. The doctors, at least here, are beginning to only prescribe it for kids with severe health problems. So.. I figure that it is only a matter of time before it hits our home. That's where my faith comes in. Elizabeth's lungs are not the best. SHe suffered pneumonia 3 times in her first 2 years with us. She tends to immediately get bronchitis or something as soon as she gets a runny nose. And.... she has been known to have feveral seizures. .. AND... she has thalessemia. I am not sure if thalessemia makes her more at risk, but I read that sickle cell anemia does. Thalessemia is "asian sickle cell" (or at least that is what I have read). So, I am very concerned about her getting the swine flu. And Ri? Well, another high risk child is one with a heart disease. You all know the complications with Ri and his heart condition. I just don't know if he is safe since the major conditions were repaired or if he is at risk because he still has ongoing issues. And... Sam? Well, Sam has asthma. It is not bad and he never has required an inhaler; but he does have it. He also tends to get sick easier then the others and harder. And me? Well, I have leukapenia and asthma; two conditions that put me at high risk as well. Then there is Emily... I DO NOT KNOW what is going on with her health; so I am not sure if she is at higher risk as well. That makes 4, maybe 5, of us who are at high risk. This is where my faith is waivering at times. I know we serve a mighty God who is IN CONTROL OF ALL THINGS!!! Nothing will happen outside of His plan for our life. Which puts me in the question of: Do we get the swine flu vaccination? My answer? Right now, NO. There is so much uncertainty about many, many things that I/we are just not comfortable having it given to our children. Am I risking their health? I just can't answer that right now. I would rather know that my God is almighty and all powerful. I am not one who denies the gifts that God has given man to be able to produce medicines/vacines/surgery/etc.... but I am not at peace over this particular vacine. Thus... my faith is being stretched!!

The spritual battle I mentioned yesterday is still ongoing. At 11:30 today, I will be in a position that will require me to be a witness to something. I need to go in with the full armor of God! Please pray for me that I may be a vessle that glorifies God despite any other circumstance.

For copyright purposes, I need to note that I took these pictures off of facebook. The creation credits go to Mikayla Simmons. Thanks Mikayla! Erin is #19

Jacob enjoyed a wonderful trip to visit Emily. Uncle Paul took him. They picked Emily up and took her to Philidelphia. Jacob was in his element.... history galore! I am glad they had such a wonderful time!

Erin played in a powderpuff game the other night. It was senior orange versus senior black. The black team won! Erin scored 3 touchdowns that night. It was fun to watch her play. The black team then went on to play the faculty. It ended in a tie.

Please pray for me today; especially this afternoon. I am having to do something that I truly believe is in the midst of a spiritual warfare. I would ask that my words be true and that truth will prevail. Sorry for the lack of details.... I just can't share it right now.

Everyone else is well. I will post more later... if my energy level is good.

On October 12th, Erin officially signed her letter of intent to play soccer at Houghton College in New York. It was quite an honor. The team, as well as the school, is excellent. We had the honor of standing with her for the newspaper article. On Tuesday of this week, she made the front page of the sports section for our local newspaper. There isn't a link to it, but if you any interest in reading the article, just click on the picture and it should go fullsize.



Senior Night was October 15th. It was a very odd feeling to watch her play on the High School field for the very last time. We have spent many games watching her play. New York is too far away for us to make the games very often, it is a very sad thought to me. There is a gentleman who supports the girls team FAITHFULLY! He comes rain or shine, snow or heat, home or away. He hasn't had a daughter on the team for over 5 (or more years). He comes wearing a soccer mask and cape and has affectionately been dubbed "soccer man". For each game, he chooses a theme and passes out something to match the theme as spectators walk in the door. And EVERY season, he presents the girls with their very own "rug"; hand made with love. He is amazing! This is Erin's rug. It is an "honor" to finally be given one.

This is the first year I have seen this done; a banner with each individual senior participant of every fall sport was hung at the football stadium. It is a very cool thing to walk down the row and see each child. This is Erin's. What a wonderful gift it will be to each senior.

And today, Jacob is heading off with his Uncle to see Emily again. I am thrilled for him because he truly misses Emily. He really ached to have some time with her last visit as well. He is looking forward to spending all weekend with her. As for me?? Well, it is hard for me to really talk much about it. I seem to choke up just about everytime I talk about someone getting to visit her. I really had no idea how much I ache for my little girl.

Here are some pictures from our trip to see Emily. I have a few more, but Jacob needs to work on his homework on the computer. I will try to post them a little later.




Emily really enjoyed spending timne with Erin. It was nice to see them being sisters again.

These are not my pictures, I still haven't been able to download mine. I noticed Em changed her profile picture on facebook. The credit for these pictures goes to her dear friend, Karis. Doesn't college life look fun?

I saw a picture in the bookstore at BBC that I fell in love with. As soon as I came home, I decided to make one from my "nature letters". Now that I mnade this one, I have ignited Jacob's interest in going on walks and looking for letters. He LOVED the letter C in this one. Yesterday, we went on a walk and he was all into looking for more then just letters. We went on a hunt for comma's, explanation points, question marks, @ signs, smiley faces etc. He was fun to go with. I can't wait until we have our whole alphabet done. The little ones are great hunters as well. We are planning on making quite a few of these pictures.

I have had a few ask me to post pictures and aboaut my weekend with my girl. I can't post pictures because I gave my 2nd camera to Emily. That camera was the only way I had to download my pictures. I have been waiting for a USB cord to arrive so that I could actually download from my camera. It finally arrived, but to my dismay, my USB port on my camera is broken (unknown to me). So... I am without the ability to download :(. That makes me so very, very sad! I will figure something out, it just take some time.

As for my girl? Well, I have so many emotions that it is hard to write them all down. WAs it good to see her? Absolutely! She looks incredible and even more.. her hugs felt incredible! She is stunningly beautiful! She is happy, vibrant, and loving college. My heart ached because we had to travel home Saturday night. I would love to have stayed another whole day! But... there were no hotel rooms available under $125./night. So.. we opted not to spend the extra money and stay into the evening Saturday night. I was blown away at how hard it was to say goodbye to her this time.

As I have struggled with my thoughts and feelings, I think I have come to the conclusion as to why. When we dropped Emily off at college for the first time, it was very easy to leave her. Why? Because I knew she was where God wanted her to be. We had a complete peace. Emily was excited. It was all new and exciting for her. I was still "mom" and still "needed". I knew she would miss me and need to talk and need mom. But this time, it was different. This time, Emily had already experienced 8 weeks wihtout me. She had dealt with a very difficult first 3 weeks because of some problems with the health of her roommate. She dealt with losing a roommate that she adored and had looked forward to spending the year with. She dealt with fears about her own health and a trip to the ER that had her very scared. She had experienced homework like she had never had before and learned to juggle her time and energy. And just before we got there, she had spent 2 days at the hospital supporting her best friend on campus as he underwent emergency surgery. She had handled all that by herself.. without mom holding her hand.

So the difference? Oh.. I still know that Emily is where she needs to be. I know that she still wants me... but this time, I realized that Emily doesn't need me like she did before. She is transitioning into her own life. It is an incredible adventure and she is ready to begin it without me as "mom". Oh, I will always be mom and many times, I believe I will still be her "mommy"... but mostly, the change has begun to where I step aside and stop "controling" her choices and decisions. I am so excited for her, but I think I am beginning to struggle with the letting go process. I am so proud of her! I love seeing her and sharing in her life. I guess I am realizing that there will be a great part of Em's life that I can't share in anymore. Not because she doesn't want me to, but because I just can't. I'm not with her everyday, I'm not able to be with her to sit and talk for hours or go to the store or go on walks or watch a good movie together. I'm not there to hug her when she is struggling or her heart is hurting. I'm not there to hold her when she is scared or sick. I know that is part of life and how it is suppose to be. And I know it is an exciting part of life for our children. But as it is happening, I realized that it is much harder on the parent because the child is going forward, experiencing life, while the parent is left with a void. Not a bad void, just a realization that their little girl is no longer "home".

So, I am working through those feelings and for the most part, rejoicing! It was harder on me Saturday night and Sunday; but by God's grace, He is allowing me to work through it all. I wouldn't change this part of life for anything. Well.. maybe I would change one part... I think that I needed time alone with Emily. I needed time to experience her new life with her; hang out with her and her friends and spend hours just being together and talking. I think I needed to share in the laughter of college life and hanging out. I needed to meet her friends and do the photo stuff and the walking around the pond and hanging out at soccer games and activities. I think I needed that just to share in Em's life. And seeing Em for the first time in 8 weeks with the ENTIRE family didn't give me that opportunity. In fact, it gave me just 5 minutes alone with my girl. THat is NOT ENOUGH for this mama! So my advice, to moms who have been a big part of their daughter's life... take a night or a weekend, just you and her, before the whole family comes!

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that everyone got to go. The kids have missed her a lot. They needed to see her and she needed to see them. But next time? It is just me and Mark... or just me :). I am a little selfish, aren't I?

I am so excited to see Emily tomorrow! The very cool thing is that all of us get to go! I feel so blessed. Unfortunately, I am not all that sure that Emily is going to be up to us coming. Yesterday, she spent the day at the hospital with one of the friends who took her to the ER. He ended up in the ER. She stayed by his side this time. He ended up having emergency surgery. Please pray for him as he recovers. Emily is very upset and very concerned for him. God is faithful; in that, I am confident.

Oh how I love to see my little boy all dressed up!

Announcing of the homecoming court at the homecoming parade.


Last night was the homecoming football game. Erin was an Senior attendant. It was quite an honor to stand by her side. We are blessed. Mamaw, Papaw, Uncle Paul, Uncle Ed and Aunt Susan all came to support her.
Daddy pinning the corsage on Erin.
Waiting to begin.

The kids are involved in the Awana program at our church and LOVING every minute of it. They were so excited to have earned their vests Wednesday. Memory verses from Cubbies: