There have been a few times in my life when I could almost feel God wrapping His arms around me and holding me close, as if whispering to me His love. Saturday, when I opened up an email with the subject line of ... Ri... I had that feeling again. I felt as if God was saying to me "Ri is mine. I created him and I have a plan and a purpose for his life. I held him until you were ready for him. I have protected him and have entrusted you with him. He is my child and one day, he will know my love and will trust in me."

As I read the email, I began to cry. I was flooded with so many emotions and overwhelmed that God chose us to raise Ri. More then once, I have caught myself just staring into Ri's eyes, smiling, having been reminded of God's complete touch in His life. I can't wait for Ri to experience that love in a personal way. One day, I am confident that this letter will be priceless to our son.

Hi Darcy…

I’ve been watching your blog for quite a while; somehow I feel compelled to send you a note tonight, to let you know how purposefully the Lord has assembled your family.

My husband and I have a little girl whom we adopted from China last year through FTIA. Your blog has been so important to me over the past year because I believe that we reviewed RiChen’s file right before your family did. When we put him “on hold,” I was 100% certain that we would commit to him, and we were so excited. I remember crying over the sweet baby pictures of him, just falling in love with his innocent little face. We had an international adoption doc review his file, and she said that he would be fine. His picture was blown up to nearly life-size on our refrigerator, and our other kids joined in the debate about his name.

Finally, we went to the Lord for what we thought would be a rubber stamp yes concerning our plans. (Obviously, we failed to seek Him first in this. We’re learning….) I couldn’t have been more surprised when we both immediately sensed a lack of peace about the adoption. Again and again, we asked God to speak to us, and every single time we felt that he simply wasn’t ours. I can’t tell you how frustrated I felt; I already loved him! I kept reminding the Lord that He had called us to adopt and that this boy needed a home! The Lord consistently withheld peace, despite my efforts to will my heart into a peaceful state. God said NO.

I called Maury on a Friday afternoon to return RiChen’s file to FTIA so that he’d be “available” again for weekend surfers. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever cried so bitterly. My husband and I spent a ton of time that night on the floor begging God to please, please, please cause a Jesus-following family to see his picture on the website immediately and to be led to bring him home.

In my small, human, self-involved mind, I literally worried that we were RiChen’s only chance to meet the savior; that our returning his file might have closed an eternal door for him. We struggled so mightily with the concept that we had rejected someone so precious to the Lord, despite our certainty that God had told us to do so. I can’t tell you how often I checked the website to see if he’d moved to “on hold.” My husband would call me and say, “anything with RiChen?” daily. We were in a serious funk about that little boy.

Well, Ha! WE were NOT Ri’s only opportunity to meet the Lord! God had such beautiful, perfect plans for him! How we rejoiced when his name moved to “on hold” and then, hallelujia!, “promised!” And then, one day when we were in process with the child who was for us, I summoned up all of my bravery (I was always afraid of annoying Maury & Betty), and I asked if Ri’s family had a blog that she knew about. She sent me the link to your blog, and I had the second-biggest cry of my life when I “met” your family and learned about your love for the Lord and for Ri. It was and is so clear to me that he is YOURS, and I rejoice in the sovereignty of our God, who always knew where Ri belongs.

Today, I enjoy checking in to your blog from time to time because I love seeing how he is growing and thriving in your big, wonderful family. I almost always cry because it is so easy for me to imagine how naturally he will step into a friendship with Jesus as he watches his parents and siblings walk this thing out with such authenticity. I also cry when I realize how much God used Ri to prepare us to recognize God’s “YES!” concerning our little girl.

So, please know that you and Ri and your family are always in my prayers, and that I count your “finding” Ri as one of the great answers to prayer in my life so far.

Many, many blessings to you-