16 days until we leave

Well, it is 16 days until we board a plane to travel on the opposite side of the world to bring our son home. Sixteen days! We have much to do in order to get our "house in order". I've made a list, to the dismay of our children, of "chores" that need to be done around the house before we leave. They worked very hard over the weekend to complete many of the tasks. It was such a joy to see them put such effort into it. Mark and I are truly blessed with wonderful kids!

It was a beautiful weekend. The boys spent alot of time with Elizabeth outdoors while I cleaned on the inside of our house. They took her to the creek, the horses and on lots of swing rides and walks in the woods. She has so much fun with her big brothers. They are so good with her.

Erin had a softball tournament on Saturday, so she was gone most of the day. The thrill for her was her first high school homerun ... over the fence! Yeah. She really enjoys softball. They have moved her from shortstop to first base. We have no idea why, but she has discovered that she really does enjoy first base. She does a great job too.

Emily has been busy working. Sunday we spent the day with a friend taking graduation pictures for her. We had a great time. Unfortunately, I had them drop me off at church early and they ran out to a farm that she wanted her picture taken at. On the way there, the check engine light came on and the car began to "smoke". They were stranded and had no way of getting ahold of us. I did realize that they had not checked in with me, so I called Em. We discovered the dilemma and off went her Daddy to the rescue. Well... the car still is sitting at the farm. A tow truck will be on its way today. Life's lessons are hard sometimes (expensive too). We are truly praying that the expense is minimal, but trusting God despite it all.

Elizabeth has made it through a cold without it turning into bronchitis or pneumonia. That is a first since we have been home! Praise God.

We found out that Ri is not wearing diapers and is probably still using a bottle.... and that he is absolutely precious! Someone shared this with me over the weekend. What a joy it is to read those words. We feel that way no matter what, but to hear it from someone who has interacted with him is a gift.

If you could pray for the following things, I would be thankful.
- the time change for Elizabeth (and us, of course). It is a 12 hours difference, so her days and nights will be completely swapped. She does not handle things well when her schedule is interupted much.
- the very, very long layover in New York - 8 hours before we hop on a 14 hour plane ride.
- the plane trip over to China (that Elizabeth will be able to handle it). Elizabeth has been screaming more and longer in her car seat lately. I am not sure what we would do if she started her screaming fits on the plane. Once she enters them, nothing seems to pull her out.
- Noone gets sick or food poisoning while we are there
- That the time we have together will be as incredible or more incredible then it was with Elizabeth
- That the hotel arrangements and in country arrangements will be made and fit our family well
- That the adjustment and transition for Ri is easy and welcomed and that Elizabeth will love her brother!
- For energy (and sleep) for me while we are over there. (selfish, I know, but very needed in order for me to be able to handle both Elizabeth and Ri)

Thanks for caring for our family. We are truly blessed.

Praise God, for He is faithful and just. He is the giver of all gifts. He is my God, my creator, my strength. After posting earlier and asking for prayer, I sat down to read in the book of James. I figured I referred to it, maybe it would be a good idea to read it this morning. So.. I rejoice. I rejoice because God met me there. I am not a big fan of the readers version of the bible, I am not opposed, I just am comfortable with KJ or NIV. But, I picked up Jacob's bible this morning and this is what the NIreadersV said: My brothers and sisters, you will face all kinds of trouble. When you do, think of it as pure joy. Your faith will be put to the test. You know that when that happens it will produce in you the strength to continue. The strength to keep going must be allowed to finish its work. Then you will be all you should be. You will have everything you need. If any of you needs wisdom, ask God for it. He will give it to you. God gives freely to everyone. He doesn't find fault. But when you ask, you must believe. You must not doubt. People who doubt are like waves of the sea. The wind blows and tosses them around. A man like that shouldn't expect to receive anything from the Lord. He can' make up his mind. He can never decide what to do. James 1:2-8

Ok. That hit me between the eyes. I have read it and read it before, but today, I needed to be reminded of that very passage. We had asked for wisdom and I know that God answered it... months ago. And now, here I struggled with questions and doubt. But... God is great. I praise Him. The passage continued.. it continued to this part. I was blown away because I don't ever remember reading this in James before. This is what I needed to be reminded of this morning. First, my sin, then God's promise. Here it is:

Here are the kinds of beliefs that God our Father accepts as pure and without fault. When widows and children who have no parents are in trouble, take care of them. And keep yourselves from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Wow! I praise God this morning and look forward to our final stage of this journey to Ri and the beginning of an exciting stage of our new family.

So this is the precious piece of paper that we have been waiting for for so long. It is simple, not much to it. But is gives us final permission to travel to China to bring our son home.

And so the countdown begins. And as it begins, I am pleading for all of you prayer warriors. I feel like I am in a war right now, spiritually speaking. I guess I have been caught off guard with all the emotions and thoughts that are flying through my mind this past week. Funny how our minds work! I have every confidence that I will win this battle. Why?, you might ask. Because I serve a God that is faithful and far more powerful then anything my flesh can battle! But, I would covet your prayers.

As we near the end of this journey, only to begin a new journey as a family, I have noticed that Elizabeth is either entering into a new stage or reacting to my stress. She is very clingy to me, fussy, whiny, and will have nothing to do with anyone when it is time to go to bed... .to the point she refuses to let the kids kiss her or even talk to her. She is fine up until I put her in bed, then look out! She has had many more melt downs in the car, which are beginning to make me very nervous for our plane trips! I think it is just because I have been so focused this week, but still.... please pray for her. Her world is about to be rocked... again.

I am confident, though, that God is ready to bless her with an incredible to stage in her life. I believe that Ri will be a precious gift to her as well. The two of them will have a special bond simply because of the way God has brought them to our family. I trust that Ri is a gift from above. In the book of James, we are told this:

“Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures” (James 1:16-18).

We have dates!

Boy am I ever worn out! My mind is full and swimming. I have worked on flights arrangements for 3 days and am completely exhausted at the many, many changes that have taken place in this short time frame. The poor teachers at school are probably exhausted hearing from me. We have had dates of May 2nd, May 3rd, May 17, May 16, May 30, and May 31. And at one point during these days, we have been convinced that one of those dates was it.

And throughout this whole "adventure", I believe God has shown me my lack of faith. It amazes me how much I can completely trust God one day and in an instant, my faith begins to waiver. I think I have mentioned before about the Israelites and me... I use to look at them and wonder how on earth they could ever doubt God or ever turn away from Him. It blew me away. I use to think... How could you see a wall of fire, the parting of the red sea, the provision of daily manna...and still forget what God is able to do? Well, that is where I was this week. Once again, I had forgotten what God has done in the past. Praise God that I have a loving, Godly husband whose faith has not waivered and who completely trusts God and is gentle enough to remind me of God's faithfulness.

So... the dates? They are official now. Our consulate appointment is May 29th. We have to leave on May 16th for China. Our flight to New York is at 6:35 am! Yikes. It will be an early morning! Then we arrive in New York at 8:22. Then we will enjoy the airport and all that it has to offer for 8 hours. That shall be very exciting! :) Ha ha. We then catch the flight to Beijing at 4:30. We will arrive in Beijing at 6:00pm (Beijing time) the next day (that would be 6:00am our time). Yes, the flight will take 13 1/2 hours. But, the blessing is that it will be overnight and by then I believe we will be wiped out enough that we might just sleep. Please pray to that end.

We will fly home on May 31st, leaving Guangzhou at 12:55pm (that would be 12:55 am on May 31st our time). We will arrive in Beijing at 4:10pm (4:10am our time). Then from Beijing, we pick up the flight to LA at 8:30 pm (8:30 am our time). We will arrive in LA at 5:45pm (that would be 8:45pm our time). THe we will visit our good friends, the Masyrs for a few hours! We catch the flight home at 10:50 pm (1:50am - June 1st our time). We will arrive at our airport at 6:14 am on June 1st. I believe... by then... we will be toast! That makes for 30 hours of travel time from beginning to end. Please pray that the kids can get some rest (Mark and I too) on the flights home. Erin and Emily will have exams. The exams are scheduled for May 31, June 1 and June 4. I am hoping that during all the travel time, they can get alot of studying done!

Well, for now, that is as much as we know. We are blessed beyond words. We are praising God for His faithfulness and for allowing us the privlidge of adopting Ri as our son. We are coming baby boy!

Wow, do things every change quickly around here!

Ok, May 2nd/3rd is out. The Consulate said tht there is not any more room for another family. So, we will be not be leaving on Wednesday. It is sad, but I do feel a little relieved. I began to get a little overwhelmed at what all I needed to do in 9 days to have our home and our family ready to hop on a plane!

So when are we going? Ha.. that is the question of the year! I have spent so much time thinking and figuring that my mind is mush right now. We have the option to leave May 17th or May 31st. May 31st is where we have been leaning. Seems like a long way off, but the kids would almost be done with school by then. They would not miss that last review before finals (the girls, anyways) and Sam would not miss the famous 7th grade trip to Kings Island and Jacob would not miss the famous Camp Ohio overnight trip for his 5th grade class... but Emily would miss fusion trip and Erin would have to rearrange summer gym (meaning she would not be with all her friends and would take it in the hottest month). In fact, we were definitely going to do it, ... then one of my dearest friends has come up with some plane flights that make leaving May 17th very appealing.

Golly... my mind is swimming with thoughts! So, I do not have a date for us. You are in limbo just as I am. We will have to figure it out today. For all you prayer warriers out there... please pray for wisdom regarding the scheduling of our trip. Boy do I want our little boy.... NOW!... but I have to do what is best for all of us. Little Ri has no idea we are coming and is being well taken care of. 2 weeks of our entire life is really no big deal!

HELP! I feel like just crying/ screaming... HELP! Someone else figure this out :)

TA!!! TA!!! TA!!! Yikes.. we may be leaving May 2nd!

What an emotional rollar coaster today has been. Wow, I never thought recieved our TA would be quite so stressful and emotional! As of this morning, I had emailed our family coordinator and told her that I realized that May 3rd was not an option. We were told that if we had any hope for May 3rd, then we HAD to get our TA today and everything had to go perfectly. But, we also realized that we would be pushing things on our own to get it and that the cost of tickets with that short of notice would be impossible. So, it was not even a thought anymore. We had worked out all the details to travel May 16th (we assumed that would be the timeframe for this group of TA's). THis morning I emailed all of the teachers (over 20!) and told them that we would be tentatively traveling May 16th - May 30th.

Well.. fast forward to around 11:25 this morning. I recieved a call from Betty who teased me relentlessly, sharing about her weekend and the weather and then very quietly said she had recieved some mail. She cracks me up! Anyways, the first thing she said is "so.. are we trying to get the May 3rd date". I figured there was no option, but we decided that we would have the travel agency give us the price of both flights. Then I prayed. I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving. God has been so faithful. Then I released it into His hands, whatever date He wanted us to go, we would go. I wouldn't try to figure out ways to get us there on the the May 3rd group. If we waited, even until June, that was fine with me. I was totally content and completely anticipating May 16th. Not a hope for May 3rd (at least in my mind). Well... I guess God may have some other plans.

Please pray that the CA will be scheduled for May 16th. It is such a short notice, they are not sure we will get it, but we are praying for that date. If we get it, then we will be able to go with the May 3rd group. This is important right now. The tickets for the May 16th group are $500 more per person! That adds up when you have 7 people traveling.

Why do we have to go May 2nd? Well, there are no flights available on the May 3rd, only May 2nd. So, we will have to be in China a day longer then everyone else. It will make for a long trip, but I guess we do what God lays in front of us.

The emotional rollar coaster was the high of recieving the TA and hearing that May 3rd was a possibility. The extreme and very, very quick low was hearing the cost of each ticket. Then further low of hearing the cost of the May 16th travel time. Then realizing that we really needed to reconsider taking the kids and then sharing that news with the kids.

The high... after sharing the news and allowing the responses, they all began figuring out ways to make it possible, but the most important and best high was the fact that we began to look at Ri in a whole new way. We began to be burdened for him and for bonding with him... not for the China trip, but for our little boy. The kids began to feel the pain of not being there when Ri joined our family. THey ached at the thought. They didn't care about anything else. They wanted to be with him. It opened the door for some incredible discussion about what Ri needs and about how we need to be.

The word of God says that trials bring you closer to Him. They are to make us more like Christ. Trials are a true gift, hard... but a gift from God. And so.. today I rejoice in experiencing God in a very powerful way. I rejoice in His work and who He is. I was reminded by a dear friend that God has a plan for Ri. She reminded me of God's provision when we prayed for wisdom whether to adopt him or not and God provided a pediatric cardiologist who reads Chinese! What a precious reminder that was. God has a plan for this little guy. I can not wait to see it come to pass.

And so.. we hope to be traveling in just 9 days. Wow.. I have A LOT of work to do! Stay tuned and see what God's plan is. We will know on Wednesday.

The second journey ......

is much different from the first journey to bring Elizabeth home. Bringing our son Ri home is like having your 2nd child... or in our case... your 6th child.

Well, let me elaborate a little on my thought. You see, with Elizabeth, I spent so much time journaling and sharing my thoughts, my feelings, my/her experiences. I posted at least 2-3 times a week. I was excited about everything. I was on my knees, constantly. Every step, I was praising God and leaning on His strenghth and His timing. I learned more about God in that 16 month period then I had in my entire life. Our family bonded in ways I never thougth possible. We prayed together and watched God work... together. We spent so much energy and time into preparing for our little girl.

We shared the experience with everyone. It was like a first born child; like a first time pregnancy. Everything was new. Everything about it was emoitional and exciting. We shared the ups and downs with those who love us and spent many, many hours watching and waiting for that precious referral; much the same as you watch and wait for labor. The anticipation was incredible, again, much like the anticipation of the birth of your first child.

Those who knew us were praying for us, sharing in every step. Those who didn't know us were excited too. The experience was incredible. We were enjoying the excitement of waiting for our precious, healthy little GIRL from China.

But now, this wait and anticipation is so much different. Much of it is because we have adopted before. Ri will be our second adoption, comparable to a second child. But even more, he will be our 6th child. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I am just observing.

The bible speaks of how Mary "pondered" these things. She "pondered" all that God was doing in her life and all that was said to her about her child. She "pondered". I love that!

My first observation is myself. With Elizabeth, I was glued to the yahoo groups, soaking in anything that i could. I worked my tail off to make her a special quilt, in fact, I made her 3! I journaled constantly, prayed constantly, read the word of God... my mind was consumed by the thought of her. With Ri, I am excited and ache to hold my son, but my day to day duties distract me and I can go days without "real" intense time with the Lord. My mind is not consumed by our son, my thoughts aren't filled with awe and wonder, my time is not focused on making a quilt or journaling. It isn't that I don't want him nor that i don't love him, but it is because he is the 2nd adoption. I am convinced of that. I also am very, very saddened by it. I remember longing to be close to God like I was during the adoption of Elizabeth. Longing to bring glory to my maker. I was in awe of what He had done in our family's life... in my life. I was reminded, daily, of His provisions and His faithfulness.

So, deep down, I longed for another adoption in hopes to have that same closeness. But, God, in His wisdom, has shown me that I am wrong. I do not need something big in my life to be close to God. I don't need something to draw me to Him... I just need Him. I need to be on my knees daily, not petitioning for some need, but longing to have fellowship with Him; to just praise Him and be reminded of who He is and what He has done for me. Throughout this adoption, God has spoken to me in far quiter ways. My problem has been that the "loudness" of my life has often muffled that still small voice of Gods. It has been incredible to see God in this light. To be reminded of who He is and how He does not always speak in the same ways everytime.

He has reminded me of my need for Him and my dependence on Him. I am reminded that I can not do anything for Ri, but pray. I can not hold him when he is sick, when he is hurt, when he is crying, when he is lonely or afraid. I can not comfort him, love on him, kiss him, or reassure him. I can not make sure he is warm or cool, clothed or not, diapered or not, fed or not. I can do nothing for him. I wasn't there when he was left at the gates of the hospital, I wasn't there when he was taken to strangers, I wasn't there when they cut his chest open and repaired his heart, I wasnt' there when he had pneumonia. I have not been there for him through anything. He is all alone and has no clue that a family is trying to get to him. I can't do a thing... .except to trust God. I have realized that I really am not so distant from God as I am wiser. I learned, through Elizabeth, that God is faithful and that His timing is perfect. I learned that I can't not do anything but trust God. And so, this time, I am not on my knees in desparation, pleading for my son's care... but I am resting in Him, KNOWING that God is taking care of him and that it is all in God's timing. I have realized and learned that God has a plan for Ri and for our family. He is taking care of it all.

So, for me, things are different. I am much more at rest and at peace about adopting Ri. I am not fearful of the unknown as I was, somewhat, with Elizabeth. I am resting in His arms. Sometimes I am resting much to much and need to be awakened to my relationship with God. Sometimes I seem to even forget what God has done, because I am so at peace. It is those times that seem to make me more fearful... far more then the real scarey times. Because when I am at peace, I don't tend to lean on God ALL the time. I often tend to put Him in the back of my mind and go on with my day to day activities. For that, I am sad.

But it is not just me that is different this time around. The reactions of so many are somewhat disheartening. I think about this little guy and the love that he has not had. I think of the love that the entire community has given to Elizabeth and then I get sad. The responses we get this time around are much less enthusiastic. Many who shared in the journey to bring home Elizabeth, have little interest in this journey; at least not until now. Many people look at us like we are from Mars. For many, I can see the wheels in their heads spinning.. thinking things that I really don't want people thinking. Some even share those thoughts out loud. The other day, someone actually said "they can't keep up with the 5 they have, and they want another one?". Some have been disgusted that we would take on another child, some have just been shocked and have no interest, some judge us as if we are rich (ha ha and instantly ask about the cost or make reference to it, some try to make some comments to encourage us, but their hearts are pretty obviously against it. And when many find out that all of us are going again, the conversation usually gets cold or at least I feel judged. So this time around, I feel just a little alone.

Oh, don't get me wrong, our family members are very supportive. We are so blessed. Both Grandmothers can not wait to hold him and love on him. And Uncle Paul is thrilled to have a namesake! Ri has a couple of Aunts who are already crazy about him and Uncle's too. And there are some very, very good friends who love us and support us no matter what! And we have some very dear friends here who have been nothing but encouraging as well as a very, very dear family in California who have walked every step with me this time! It is just much different then before.

There is a part of me that wonders if it is just because he is a little boy and he has a heart condition. I wonder if he was a healthy little girl, would the responses be the same? I think when I wonder that, I am wrong; at least I hope and pray that I am wrong. It would break my heart to think that people would judge him before they ever met him.. simply because of a "special need" or that he was a boy.

No,.. I think it is more just because he is the second one and because it has happened so quickly on the heals of adopting Elizabeth. I think many are just in shock. Either way, it makes me sad for him.

So, I turn to God and ask him to share the excitement. I lean on Him to hold our son. I lean on Him to provide everything we need, finances, support, encouragment, love, patience, ... to work out every need I know of and every need I do not know of. I turn to Him to be the one to love Ri and show him what a family is so that one day, He will be adopted into God's family.

... and so, I have begun to journal for our son. I am so sorry that I have not journaled like my heart desired. My goal is to journal daily, until we have him in our arms. And then.. to continue journaling about the life of our SIX precious children that God has given. I pray that God will, once again, receive the glory.

As I sit and wait for more news on when we travel, I have picked up some digital scrapbooking ideas. Here is one I put together for our son.

Flying Kites

March

While we wait, I am trying to figure out new and exciting things to put on our blog. I have been wrestling with how to share more then just a few pictures from our trip while we are in China. I know some of you might enjoy lookiing at all the pictures we take, so I have been looking into how to do that. I think I might have figured it out, but no promises.

The above picture (or set of pictures) was taken a few weeks ago when it was beautiful outside (it is no longer warm and georgeous!). Emily still loves being a kid (Yippee!), and loves doing "kid" things. I love it that she has not "Grown up" so much that she has forgotten how to have fun. So many teens seem to lose sight of fun. She is into flying kites these days. Thankfully, she has gotten the other kids into it too. We have a field next to our property that is perfect for flying kites. I took these pictures (well, most of them) while they were having fun flying kites. For those who are interested in checking out the other pictures, just click on the picture and it will link you into my photo album (if all goes well, anyways).

Our LOA has arrived!

I had given up hope today. The phone rang at 2:30 and I thought for sure that it was Emily. School is out then and she is suppose to call me when she heads home. But, it wasn't her... IT WAS BETTY!!!! Yippee!!! Yeah!!! Hooray!!!! I think I leaped in the air.

OUR LOA IS AT FTIA and being Fed-Exed overnight. We will sign it and send it back tomorrow. The next step is waiting for our TA. Last group of TA's took anywhere from 13 days to 22 days from LOA. We could get it as soon as April 16th and possibly as late as 24th (based on the last group). If it gets back quick enough, we possibly may travel early May. If not, then it should be the end of May.

All I know is that I am praising God for His faithfulness despite my lack of faith. We will travel when God wants us to bring our son home. Personally, I am praying for the early May dates.