Thanksgiving has come and gone and now we are heading into another hectic season. Emily drove back to school yesterday. It is amazing to me the emotions that I have these days. I often hear that growing up is hard... but I am ready to argue that the growing up isn't so hard on the child; but mostly hard on the parent... and even more specifically...the MOM! But, despite the emotions that are flying through me at this stage in my life, I enjoyed every moment I saw my girl while she was home. And... as she so often mentioned... she is safely "home". To her, BBC is now home. Oh, it is just a silly phrase for her and it really doesn't mean all that us adults think of as "home".... but it is definitely a phrase that catches me off guard at times and rattles all those emotions of letting my little girl go.

Surprisingly, I didn't take a lot of pictures. My camera doesn't take very nice indoor pictures, so once winter comes, I really slow down on the shots I take. I wish that weren't the case, though. We only had one opportunity to take a family shot (only one time when we were all home long enough) and we failed to think of it. That makes me very sad. Maybe when she is home during Christmas break.

Everyone is finally healthy. It was a longer road then most illnesses around here; but one in which we recieved grace and made it through without any serious complications. I praise God for that! Our family seems to be making some changes in our lifestyle. Sam and Jacob have discovered the joys of lifting with their Daddy. Unfortunatley, Daddy hadn't been lifting for a while, so he is a little on the sore side. Erin is dating a young man who is very focused on working out; thus, my little girl is very focused as well. It is fun to watch. All three kids have really changed things around here. Jacob ran 9 miles Thanksgiving morning! Wow... it was amazing. We are very proud of his accomplishment. With their focus; it seems Mark and I are being dragged right into it.

About 6 weeks ago, Sam and his girlfriend asked me to swim in an alumni swim meet. The alumni take on the high school team. I only laughed at them! I haven't swam laps for at least 20 years and I haven't competed for more then 30. And.. worse... I am so out of shape it is ridiculous. But... I committed to trying to get into shape. I even went to the Y one time to swim just to see if I could still swim! I was doing great up until the swine flu hit. Then all workouts stopped and my eating went back to my usual diet (not great). So... I pretty much gave up the thought. But I couldn't give up the guilt. I had promised that I would do it. The night before, Sam's girlfriend sent me a text and told me it was ok if I didn't go. That made me feel worse. Then Sam begged me to do it and told me my excuse was a cop out. He was having fun with me, but I couldn't shake it. So..... the next morning I woke up and struggled for an hour with whether I would swim or not. Deep down, I knew I couldn't quit.... but I wanted to sooooo badly! Despite my fear of getting in a suit in front of so many I knew, my fear of dying in the water, and my fear of utter humiliation, I mustered the courage to dawn a swim suit out in public and climb a starting block in front of way too many friends and acquaintances. Oh what a horrible feeling that was! I wasn't the oldest there, 2 others I use to swim with joined the alumni team for a day as well. But most of the alumni had just recently graduated and are or have swam on a college team. It was quite the experience. After getting over the horrible feeling of walking around in a race suit in front of my peers and my childrens friends, I managed to get in the water and warm up. I hadn't dove off a block since I competed 30 years ago. I was very fearful of that. But I managed to get up without any incidence and dove into the water without breaking anything (I know I couldn't have, but I kind of felt that I might), and I managed to do still breath when it was all done. FOr a brief moment, I was swept back to the days when swimming was my life. When I hit the water, the "race" inside me came flooding back. I no longer felt 46 years old, but ... for a moment.. felt young again. THe taste of competition and racing overwhelmed me. It was a very strange sensation. And in the end I was actually still able to pull myself out of the water. I am glad that I did, but now I am haunted by the race. In the heat of the competition, I had forgotten about who I was racing and why I was racing. It was almost an out of body type experience. I was oblivious to much of my surroundings. I was back to the "race" that lived in me so deeply 30 years ago. Just before I hit the end of the race, my senses came back to me and I remembered the people in my life. But it was too late, I had made the mistake of allowing competition to rule my life. It was a race that meant nothing to me; in fact something I had dreaded. I only did it for my son and his girlfriend. It was a race that meant a lot to them. And in the end, I forgot about it all and ended up hitting the pad just before the one person I wanted to win! And now, everytime I think of the race, I die inside. This young lady is an incredible girl and a very good swimmer. She loves the sport and does very well in it. That one race was meant to encourage her and I allowed that brief thrill of competition to destroy it. Mark has always said how competitive I am and I have always gotten frustrated. I thought I had put that spirit to rest. And when I wanted it resting the most, it came out strong. Fortunately, this young lady is a beautiful young lady who is ready to work hard to take me on at the end of the season. I can guarantee that even if I try my hardest, she will beat me! She is determined and talented!

As for the rest of our lives, we are all doing well. I am so thankful for all that God has given us. We have 6 beautiful, healthy, wonderful children. I have a husband who STILL treats me like his princess, I have in-laws that so many women would be envious of!, I have a beautiful roof over my head, food on our table, clothes on our back, freedom in our country, and I can go to sleep at night not fearing whether any of it will be there the next day. I lay my fears and concerns at the feet of Christ; knowing that no matter what, He will hold me and carry me through.